Victim of Circumstance?

There are several things in life that has to be learned. Other things can't be realized while there are also things that don't want to be understood. It exists. It is there. For some reason, it brings something new to the table but stabs you with the reality of randomness and life. Life was meant to be somewhat bittersweet but have you ever experienced something that is so good, it hurts? Something that requires your understanding but then tells you not to?

Truth hurts? Not always.

But indeed, the truth will set you free. Although painfully free or free but with the broken chains still dangling from your wrists or your legs.

I always said that love and logic could coexist because God would not give man a heart and a mind in one body if they could not be together. But who said coexistence was easy?

Sometimes people fail to learn how to manage these feelings and thoughts not because they don't want to but because they can not. And that is not their fault. I've blamed myself several times for what I have done thanks to the unending debate of logic and love but in the end, what I turn out to be is a victim of circumstance. Of course, most people turn it into a rather good excuse for failure to do something concerning the bonding of IQ and EQ.

Victim of circumstance. This is both the hardest and easiest way out. I could greatly attest to that. You can not blame anyone or anything except the situation and one of the hardest things in life is when you do not come across a good reason. Well, perhaps at least for me. After all, it is in human nature to look for reason, to know the cause not because one wants to learn from it but because it is so. The why, the how, the what...

Would I rather blame myself than say that I am a victim of circumstance? This is a question I still could not answer. Bittersweet things in life were never meant to be good but regardless of me knowing this, I can not help but to feel the sting of pain amidst the short-lived happiness that I am trying to keep myself warm in.

I want to be happy. Who doesn't? But there are times when no matter how much you want to be joyous and proud, something will happen. You try to move and bend it but the positive feeling fell into an abyss of what you don't know. The needles push through from below and while pricking yourself among the nasty thorns, you search for that tiny left-over feeling you dropped.

Blood will drip. Tears will fall. Curses will escape.

But then when your fingers touch that small spark you've been looking for, it will seem like it didn't matter at all.